Divorce

The first business Monday of the new year is known as "Divorce Monday," because so many divorces begin on this day, after the stress of the holiday season drives unhappy couples even further apart.  Here are ten books on the topic of divorce.

Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After by Katherine Woodward Thomas - We enter our romantic relationships with great love, hope, and excitement--we've found the 'one', so we plan and forge our futures together.  But sometimes, for many different reasons, relationships come undone, they don't work out. Commonly, we view this as a personal failure, rather than an opportunity. And instead of honoring what we once meant to each other, we hoard bitterness and anger, stewing in shame and resentment.  Sometimes even lashing out in destructive and hurtful ways, despite the fact that we're good people at heart. That's natural: we're almost biologically primed to respond this way.
 Yet there is another path to the end of a relationship--one filled with mutual respect, kindness, and deep caring.  Katherine Woodward Thomas's groundbreaking method, Conscious Uncoupling, provides the valuable skills and tools for you to travel this challenging terrain with these five thoughtful and thought-provoking steps:
Step 1: Find Emotional Freedom
Step 2: Reclaim Your Power and Your Life
Step 3: Break the Pattern, Heal Your Heart
Step 4: Become a Love Alchemist
Step 5: Create Your Happy Ev e n After Life
 This paradigm-shifting guide will steer you away from a bitter end and toward a new life that's empowered and flourishing.

Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life by Abigail Trafford - Thoroughly revised and updated for a new generation, the essential guide for men and women to help them weather the turmoil of divorce and build rich, rewarding lives.
There is nothing easy about the breakup of a marriage, from coping with loss and failure to dealing with the uncertainty of the future. In this intelligent and insightful book, Abigail Trafford charts this emotional journey, identifying the common phases in the evolution from marriage to separation to divorce, and eventually to a new life.
Based upon her personal experience, extensive research, and interviews with hundreds of divorced men and women. Trafford offers individuals a better understanding of their own experiences and the message that they are not alone in their pain and confusion. Crazy Time is also an investment in the future--Trafford reveals the telltale signs of a marriage in crisis, and discusses what determines whether a relationship will survive over time.
This revised edition includes the most up-to-date research on the personal and economic effects of divorce in adults and children's lives, addresses the special challenges of becoming single again in the age of the Internet, and broadens the experience of divorce to the breakup of all committed relationships. For anyone who has divorced or is considering taking that step, Crazy Time offers a sense of hope and confidence that this transition is not only an ending but can also be a valuable beginning.

Divorce Poison: How to Protect Your Family From Bad-Mouthing and Brainwashing by Richard A. Warshak - Your ex-spouse is bad mouthing you to your children, constantly portraying you in a negative light, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, your relationship with your children could suffer. You could lose their respect, lose their affections-even, in extreme cases, lose all contact with them. The conventional advice is to do nothing, that fighting fire with fire will only result in greater injury to the children. But after years of consulting parents who heeded such advice with no success, Dr. Richard Warshak is convinced that this approach is wrong. It doesn't work, and parents are left feeling helpless and hopeless. DIVORCE POISON instead offers a blueprint for effective response. In it, you will learn how to distinguish different types of criticism, how and why parents manipulate their children, how to detect these maneuvers, and how these practices damage children. Most importantly, you'll discover powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with your children.
DIVORCE POISON is a time-tested work that gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children-and provides practical advice from legal and mental-health professionals to help their clients and safeguard the welfare of children. Whether they are perpetrators of divorce poison, victims of it, or both, parents who heed Dr. Warshak's advice will enable their children to maintain love and respect for their parents-even if their parents no longer love and respect each other.

The Good Karma Divorce: Avoid Litigation, Turn Negative Emotions into Positive Actions, and Get On With the Rest of Your Life by Michele Lowrance - The Good Karma Divorce is that rare guidebook that offers a concrete path to transforming painful experience into positive action. Family Judge Michele Lowrance, who experienced her parents' divorce and two of her own, has developed what Karen Mathis, past president of the American Bar Association, describes as an "inspired and uplifting alternative to the agonizing divorce process." Over the past four years, Judge Lowrance has seen literally one hundred percent of divorcing couples who applied the practices described in The Good Karma Divorce avoid trial. Firmly entrenched in real-world applicability, The Good Karma Divorce is a must-read not only for people in any phase of a divorce, but for psychologists, psychiatrists, attorneys, judges, and social workers, as well.

If You're In My Office, It's Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer's Guide to Staying Together by James J. Sexton - If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late. James Sexton knows this. After dealing with more than a thousand clients whose marriages have dissolved over everything from an ill-advised threesome with the nanny to the uneven division of carpool duties, he also knows all of the what-not-to-dos for couples who want to build--and consistently work to preserve--a lasting, fulfilling relationship. Described by former clients as a "courtroom gunslinger" and "the sociopath you want on your side," Sexton tells the unvarnished truth about relationships, diving straight into the most common marital problems. These usually derive from dishonest--or nonexistent--communication. Even when the alleged reason for separation is one spouse's new "personal trainer," there's likely a communication problem that predates the fitness kick. Symptom and root cause get confused all the time. Sexton has spent his career working with spouses-to-be-no-longer. Reverse engineering a relationship can help to identify and fix what does not work. Ever feel like you're holding back criticism of your spouse because you just can't have that fight right now? Sexton will tell you to "Hit Send Now." Maybe you aren't as adventurous as you used to be, or need some "you time," but for some reason it seems weird or exhausting to change up the routine now. Sexton knows where that mentality leads and offers viable alternative paths to take. Though he deals constantly with the heartbreak of others, he still believes in romance and the transformative power of love. This book is his opportunity to use what he has learned to help couples that aren't so far gone get back on track.

The Optimist's Guide to Divorce: How to Get Though Your Breakup and Create a New Life You Love by Suzanne Riss & Jill Sockwell - Close to 50 percent of marriages in America fail, leading to about 1.5 million divorces a year. But for Suzanne Riss and Jill Sockwell, who've been there and done that, there's no comfort in statics, only community. Community is the one thing that can turn the shattering experience of divorce into a tolerable one-and, finally, a positive one. And community is what the authors offer in their inspiring and brilliantly helpful book, The Optimist's Guide to Divorce. This is the girlfriend-to-girlfriend guide that belongs in the hands of every one of those 1.5 million divorcing women. It's the book that draws on real women's experiences-not only the authors' but ten other women from the support group the authors started who all share their stories, insights, and wisdom. It's the book that gets into the trenches at the beginning of the process, in the section called Deal, which focuses on what readers need to know right away - including how to tell the kids, confront the financial issues, figure out where to live, find legal help, and emotionally get through the day. From there it moves to Heal, which helps readers work through their anger, loss, and sadness and develop an action plan for the future. And, finally, Reveal, when it's time to celebrate the hard work and a new, stronger self. Because-in the succinct words of the book's underlying promise-the best time to find yourself is after losing him. Direct, warm, friendly, humorous, it's the book that will get every reader into a better relationship with the one person she'll be with for the rest of her life-herself.

Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone With Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy & Randi Kreger - Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. When your spouse has borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or is manipulative, divorcing can be especially complicated. While people with these tendencies may initially appear convincing and even charming to lawyers and judges, you know better-many of these "persuasive blamers" leverage false accusations, attempt to manipulate others, launch verbal and physical attacks, and do everything they can to get their way. Splitting is your legal and psychological guide to safely navigating a high-conflict divorce from an unpredictable spouse. Written by Bill Eddy, a family lawyer, therapist, and divorce mediator, and Randi Kreger, coauthor of the BPD classic Stop Walking on Eggshells, this book includes all of the critical information you need to work through the process of divorce in an emotionally balanced, productive way. Turn to this guide to help you: Predict what you spouse may do or say in court; Take control of your case with assertiveness and strategic thinking; Choose a lawyer who understands your case; Learn how e-mails and social networking can be used against you.

Talking to Children About Divorce: A Parent's Guide to Healthy Communication At Each Stage of Divorce by Jean McBride - In Talking to Children About Divorce, Jean McBride provides you with the tools and encouragement to effectively communicate with your child about divorce. McBride brings her more than twenty-five years of specializing in divorce to guide you through crucial but difficult conversations and cultivate an environment of love and support throughout the divorce process. You'll learn how to have honest conversations about different situations and emotions that may arise during divorce--from breaking the news to understanding resistance.
Whether you're beginning the divorce process, or have been working through it for a while, Talking to Children About Divorce offers practical advice that will contribute positively to your child's emotional wellbeing.
Learn to initiate open communication, with:
Concrete actions to help your children weather the emotions of divorce.
Useful scripts to guide you through a variety of situations throughout the divorce process.
Simple steps to improve communication, both with your former spouse and with your children.
10 tips to maintain co-parenting success and promote healthy, happy, well-adjusted children.

Will I Ever Be Free of You?: How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce From a Narcissist, and Heal Your Family by Karyl McBride - Author of the bestseller Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Dr. Karyl McBride draws on her expertise in treating children and partners damaged by narcissists in this practical new guide to divorce and its aftermath. With more than three decades of experience as a licensed marriage and family therapist, Dr. McBride guides you through the emotional fallout and challenges of being married to and divorcing a narcissist. The court system assumes that both parties in most high-conflict divorces are at fault, but a narcissist can wreak havoc in the divorce process. Dr. McBride shows how to navigate this kind of divorce and how you and your children can heal afterward. Written for those considering or already going through divorce, as well as the professionals working with them, Will I Ever Be Free of You? has three parts: Recognizing the Problem, Breaking Free, and Healing from the Debilitating Impact of Narcissistic Relationships. You begin by learning exactly what narcissism is, how to identify it, and how it affects relationships, then how to begin and carry on through a divorce and make the best decisions for you and your children. Dr. McBride lays out a roadmap of trauma recovery for the whole family, offering a step-by-step program for recognizing and healing from the particular emotional damage that narcissism causes. This guide offers new therapeutic strategies and practical guidance for protecting yourself and your children through this difficult time.

You Can Be Right (Or You Can Be Married): Looking for Love in the Age of Divorce by Dana Adam Shapiro - Why does love die--and what can we do to prevent it from happening?
It all began as a self-help journey in the purest sense. A serial monogamist for more than two decades, Shapiro had just ended his fifth three-year relationship and wanted to know why the honeymoon phase never lasted until the actual honeymoon. Believing that you learn more from failure than from success, he spent the next four years interviewing hundreds of divorced people, living vicariously through the romantic tragedies of others, hoping to become so fluent in the errors of Eros that he would be able to avoid them in his own love life.
The result is a timely treasure trove of marital wisdom--a provocative look inside the hearts, minds, beds, and e-mails of regular people who'd thought they found "The One" and lived to tell the tales of what went wrong. Shockingly intimate, universally relevant, and profoundly personal, this is a page-turning, voyeuristic peek into the private lives of our friends and neighbors that is as racy as it is revelatory. But ultimately, You Can Be Right (or You Can Be Married) is a hopeful investigation of modern love and a practical guide for any couple looking to beat the roulette-level odds of actually staying together forever.